The only thing worse than finishing second is finishing second twice. On a reality competition show. In front of dear old mom. On Sunday n...
On Sunday night's "Celebrity Apprentice," Clay Aiken (and his adoring Claymate fans) collectively suffered from that oh-so-undesirable fate after the former "American Idol" star lost out to late-night talk-show host Arsenio Hall in the season's surprising conclusion.
Given the amount of support that Clay got from both his fans and his fellow competitors, it looked like Donald Trump's final vote was his for the taking, but like any good reality TV show host, The Donald chose to shake things up.
All while wearing a bemused smirk on his face, of course.
At the beginning of Sunday night's episode, Team Arsenio and Team Clay are knee-deep in their final challenge, editing a PSA for their respective charities and planning a big to-do to debut said video and get one last performance moment in before Trump makes his final decision.
Team Arsenio — made up of comedians Adam Carolla and Lisa Lampanelli, one befuddled Teresa Giudice and a gruff-looking Paul Teutul Sr. — is having a bit of a control crisis that Arsenio blows way out of proportion.
The nervous late-night comedian takes the brunt of his frustrations out on a cool and collected Adam, who looks startled to be verbally reprimanded for trying to step it up.
"It was unclear what he wanted and everyone was confused," Adam tells the cameras as Arsenio practically does backflips to remind his crew that he's in charge.
"Things have changed since you left," he tells Adam in one of the vaguest, whiniest mini-meltdowns the show has seen in a while.
Clay, meanwhile, is practicing his best snooty face as he poo-poos Debbie Gibson's ideas to paint the walls of the event venue with a giant mural to complement their carnival-themed fete, only to later all but embrace the idea as his own.
Which brings up the burning question on every viewer's mind: What do you do with a van-full of divas?
Team Clay, made up of Debbie, Aubrey O'Day, Penn Jillette and Dee Snider, is all too eager to launch into song at a moment's notice, but their collective egos actually prove to be productive, and their final, painted venue looks leaps and bounds more exciting than Arsenio's lackluster room.
And Clay's pizazz doesn't go unnoticed either.
On the big night, Clay's fans come out en mass, waving $20,000 checks in the singer's face and squealing with glee, while Arsenio's side of the velvet ropes remains silent.
The reason?
"All my people are operating on colored people time," the comedian jokes. Slowly but surely, however, guests start to trickle in and Arsenio's best funny pals start to drop in checks of the $5,000 variety.
But their generosity is trumped by Lisa Lampanelli's own contribution — to the other team.
The comedienne hires a startlingly look-alike drag queen to deliver the $10,000 check to her puppet partner Clay, which gets the singer all aflutter.
"I'm touched by her heart and her willingness to help out," he says.
Trump and his entourage of Trump children arrive at the parties shortly afterward, and the difference is crystal clear. Whereas the mogul is greeted by the sight of Debbie Gibson hula-hooping while balancing spinning plates at Clay's fete, he just gets a cursory hello from Arsenio's date of the evening Whoopi Goldberg on the other side.
Later in the evening, Team Clay does its best collective comeback-tour impression, with Dee and Debbie singing "Steps" and Aubrey and and Clay doing an oddball version of "Time of My Life."
In the end, however, Clay raised an impressive $301,500 to Arsenio's $167,100 and the endorsement of a good number of his former competitors — unforgivable karaoke performances aside.
But Trump's word is final, and what the Trump wants, he will have — awarding Arsenio the top title.
Better luck next time, Clay.
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